This
past week, my Dad and I made the trek to the greater Phoenix area to watch some
Major League Baseball spring training games. We’ve made this trip half a dozen
times now and always enjoy the sunshine, baseball, and relaxation.
This
year, however, we did something different. This year, we brought my two-year
old son Andrew along for the ride…and, notably, didn’t bring our wives, who vacationed
together in Rhode Island instead. The result was a spring training trip with
some glorious memories and serious struggles. I learned a lot on the trip. So
allow me to share, Buzzfeed-style, the top 10 things I learned:
1. Naps are important.
You may think I mean for toddlers, and I do.
But when you’ve been keeping up with a toddler for 9 hours straight (as we did
on the longest day of the trip), don’t underestimate the restorative powers an
hour in bed can have on an adult too.
2. Toilets that automatically flush are the worst.
When you’re a toddler who’s only recently
finished potty training, routine is everything. You know what disrupts your
routine and makes you really upset? Not getting to flush your teetee at the end
of the process. You know what REALLY disrupts your process? Having the toilet
violently flush while you’re still doing your business. Twice.
Whoever invented the automatic flush clearly
wasn’t a parent.
3. Pro athletes are inherently cool.
You might think their mystique comes from
their fame or their skill or their gargantuan contracts. But tell that to my
2-year old, who, knowing none of that, stared wide-eyed when a horde of minor
leaguers came walking by us on their way to the backfields.
Maybe it was their heights. Maybe it was the
jerseys. Maybe it was that they all had bats (he really wanted one.) All I know
is, Andrew was in awe of what he saw.
4. Goofball is not the same thing as baseball.
The day we went to Surprise to watch the Rangers
practice and then attend their afternoon game, Andrew told us on the 45-minute
drive there that he wanted to play “goofball.” Dad and I were under the
impression that goofball was a synonym for baseball, since he first used the word
while we were talking to him about baseball.
Then we got to the complex, asked Andrew if he
wanted to hold a glove or baseball, and he informed us that no, he wanted to
play goofball. We insisted that he could, that he could throw the baseball or
catch it. Frowning and then crying, he let us know in no uncertain terms that
he only wanted to play goofball.
After witnessing the longest toddler meltdown
he’s had yet, I still don’t know what goofball is. But I’ll tell you this: it’s
not baseball.
5. Walking a mile with a toddler is not the same thing as
walking a mile without a toddler.
Upon seeing that our dinner destination was only
a mile away, we opted one night to walk instead of drive. In the heat of a
Phoenix afternoon.
We will not make that mistake again.
6. Small gestures of kindness can mean everything.
At the tail end of Andrew’s aforementioned
meltdown at Surprise, when he was no longer sobbing but still very unhappy, a group
of players and coaches came walking by. One of the coaches, seeing Andrew,
peeled off from the group and gave Andrew a baseball out of his bag. That alone
would have been an awesome, kind thing to do. But then he squatted down, asked
Andrew his name, and played catch with him for a solid two minutes before
moving on.
I haven’t been able to figure out who that
coach is yet. But if I do, he’ll be getting a note from me, because he can’t
know how much that meant to me, to say nothing of the little boy who tightly held
onto his ball for the rest of the morning.
7. Carrying a toddler on your shoulders > carrying a
toddler in your arms
At least until you get sunburned.
8. It’s hard for toddlers to sleep in strange places.
On past trips, Lindsey and/or Mom have
generally been in charge of putting Andrew down for the night, and it always
seemed to me like it wasn’t that much different from putting him down at home.
Oh, how wrong I was.
The low point was the night I lay in bed with
him for an hour and a half waiting for him to close his eyes. By the time he finally
fell asleep, I was ready to do the same.
9. The sun is physically closer to the ground in Phoenix than
it is in Waco.
Some of you who understand science better than
I do may say that’s not how it works. To you I can only respond, YOU WEREN’T
THERE; YOU DON’T KNOW.
10. The women in my life are superheroes.
For the two days before our trip, my
mother-in-law kept Andrew over at her house (including for two nights) so I
could get work done. My grandmother-in-law, as she has literally every time we’ve
come to Garland in the last 8 years, gave me free room, board, and WiFi to get
some work done during that time. So when I sat down to work this morning, I was
remarkably stress-free because of how much I’d gotten done in those two days…which
wouldn’t have been possible without those wonderful ladies.
And then there’s Mom and Lindsey. Lindsey,
Andrew, and I have traveled with my parents, brothers, sister-in-law, and nephew
multiple times, and had a great time doing so. On those trips, I’ve tried to
balance having fun with being a responsible parent. This trip made clear to me
how out of whack my balance was, and how much of the Andrew load Lindsey and my
mom had been shouldering. From keeping him occupied on the flights to putting
him down for naps to letting him sit in their laps during meals, Lindsey and Mom
have unquestionably done 2/3 of the caretaking for Andrew on past trips, and I
never realized it at the time. Now I know better, and now that will change.
Patty, Grandmother, Mom, and Lindsey: thank
you, thank you, thank you. Y’all are wonderful. I’ll try to do a better job of
telling you more often.