“You have heard that it was said to those of
ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to
judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or
sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother
or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’
you will be liable to the hell of fire.”
-
Matthew 5:21-22
As
my son transitions from baby to toddler, tantrums are becoming a more regular part
of life in the Camp household. If Lindsey and I take too long to lift him out
of his crib when he wakes up, he’ll voice his displeasure. If he sees one of us
eating something we haven’t offered him yet, he’ll let us know he doesn’t
appreciate it. If he wants to be picked up, he’ll tell us by raising both his
arms and his volume. You can’t blame him—until he picks up a few more words,
yelling and crying are basically the only ways he can communicate that he’s
upset.
I’ve
noticed something interesting about his outbursts, whether they’re brief yelps for
attention or extended fits: his anger is only at situations, never people. The
moment we pick him up, he goes from distraught to affectionate; as soon as we
share our food with him, he goes from screaming at us to smiling at us. Up to
this point, holding a grudge is foreign to him—he may be mad at what you’re
doing, but he’s never mad at you.
In
a time when outrage is practically the coin of the realm, Jesus suggests that
we might be able to learn something from our little ones. Feeling angry is not
a sin—after all, wrath is a characteristic of God, and Jesus was clearly angry
when he cleansed the temple of its greedy and unjust money changers. But while
anger is not automatically sinful, it is dangerous, because outrage at a circumstance
can become hatred of a person before you even realize it’s happened. When your
anger compels you to insult your neighbor instead of love him, it has become a stumbling
block to your relationship with God.
Anger
that is based in self-righteousness instead of justice, that is destructive
instead of constructive, has no place in the kingdom of God. Disciples of
Christ are called to be agents of redemption, to extend love to enemies and
grace to sinners, and you can’t do that if you’re seeing someone as a problem
instead of a person. So take a cue from the cross and the little children to whom
Jesus said the kingdom of God belongs: never let your anger at someone’s behavior
stop you from loving them.
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