I Just Called to Say I Love You (Friday Devotional)

“I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you, and praise your name forever and ever.”

- Psalm 145:1-2

While at the park with my son earlier this week, I witnessed something that got me thinking. A little boy, 3 years old or so, was sitting atop the playground slide, preparing to go down, when he stopped suddenly, like he’d had an idea. “Dad!” he cried out, turning his head toward the park bench where his father was talking with another adult. “Dad!”

I’m not sure whether his father initially didn’t hear him or just wanted to finish his conversation, but he didn’t give his son any immediate acknowledgement. So the boy shouted out even louder, “Dad! Dad!” This time the man gave his son the universal wait-a-second sign, the upraised index finger with no eye contact. Impatiently, the son yelled again, “Dad!”

Finally, the man turned to his son and, with both weariness and affection, simply asked, “What is it?” His son smiled and happily shouted back, “I love you,” went down the slide, and ran back to the playground entrance. Apparently that was all he’d needed to say.

That brief moment on the playground got me thinking about how we talk to our heavenly Father. One the primary purposes of prayer is to ask God for things, whether spiritual aid, physical protection, or material blessings. Another is to thank him for the many blessings He bestows upon us. But do you ever check in just to save you love Him?

I ask because a prayer life built entirely on asking, receiving, and thanking is transactional, not relational; it’s the way you talk to a contractor, not your father. It’s worth noting that the model prayer Jesus gave his disciples included appeals for daily bread, forgiveness, and deliverance from temptation and sin—but it began by praising God’s name. Before getting to his prayer requests, Jesus thought it necessary first to offer words of worship.

Let me encourage you to take a page out of the Book of Psalms, which contains dozens of poems and prayers written with no agenda except to praise God. Continue to ask things of God, because He gives generously to those who place their trust in Him—but every once in a while, come to him with the faith of a child, needing nothing except for Him to hear you say, “I love you.”

The Infinite vs. the Infinitesimal (Friday Devotional)

“Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

- Philippians 4:8

Wednesday night after church, my wife suggested that we go for a short walk before heading home. We live close to Lake Waco, and there’s a popular trail that overlooks the water and provides a beautiful view of the sunset, so she suggested we take advantage of it before it got dark.

Unfortunately, the gorgeous sunset is not my enduring memory of that brief walk along the lake. That’s because, as the sun dipped below the horizon, swarms of gnats started to swirl around, flying in our faces and trying their hardest to get in our mouths. Far from enjoying an idyllic sunset stroll, we wound up spending most of the time swatting at the air before finally turning back and heading for the car.

What should have been a beautiful moment was obscured by an unsightly distraction.

When you think about it, that’s not such an unusual disappointment—notes of grace are often drowned out by the blaring dissonance of anger, gossip, envy, and bitterness. In the daily swirl of negative headlines, interpersonal conflicts, and general stressfulness, God’s blessings can be so obscured that you barely even notice them.

In the face of these constant earthly disruptions, the Bible teaches us to dwell on the godly, those things which are true, honorable, just, pure, pleasing, and commendable. You cannot necessarily remove the distractions which buzz around you each day, trying to pull your focus away from God, but you can remove their power. By fixing your eyes on Jesus instead of the distractions and by dwelling on his way instead of your own, you show where your heart truly lies.

This week, I encourage you to stop several times a day and observe where your focus is. Are you swatting at the air, trying in vain to force away distractions? Or are you looking through those distractions to that which ultimately matters? Even the most seemingly insignificant distractions can damage your relationship with God if you allow them to block your view of Him—so with eyes fixed on the Lord, don’t let the infinitesimal obscure the glorious.

March Reading Log

Didn't have much free time during Holy Week, but the first 3 weeks of March gave me enough time to enjoy my typically eclectic assortment of articles and books. Here's to another month of reading!

5 Articles I Like This Month

"Burning Out: What Really Happens Inside a Crematorium" by Caren Chesler, Popular Mechanics. 23 minutes.

In the last few generations, more and more people have opted for cremation as a less expensive alternative to the traditional burial. In this fascinating article, Caren Chesler dives deep into exactly how cremation works and how it has gone from socially unacceptable to the preferred option for 48% of bereaved families. 

"How to Raise a Boy" by Will Leitch, The Cut. 11 minutes.

I'll just excerpt the article, because it makes for a good summary and tease: "The power white American boys have been taught to seize for generations comes from the already powerless, women, people of color, everyone who isn’t us. Which is why, in a macro sense, the lessening power of men (straight and white particularly) is an unquestioned societal good. When others rise, we must fall. It will be good not just in a moral sense, but a practical one. As a patriotic American who believes our country is a better place when all have an equal chance, and who believes it is time for the historical ledger to be balanced, this is what I want for the future. The only thing is: There are two little future white men who live in my house, and I love them very much."

"The Myth of Authenticity Is Killing Tex-Mex" by Meghan McCarron, Eater. 21 minutes.

While Texas barbecue has spent the last decade acquiring national fame and a cult-like following, Tex-Mex—which the author convincingly argues is eaten much more often by the average Texan than barbecue—is disrespected as a cheese-covered, processed, cheap meal not worthy of the label 'cuisine.' In an article guaranteed to make you hungry, Meghan McCarron dives into the past, present, and future of Tex-Mex, passionately making the case for it as a misunderstood and delicious state food.

"When Winter Never Ends" by Wright Thompson, ESPN The Magazine. 19 minutes.

While I don't relate to it (probably because I don't relate to it), I find the almost pathological obsession of elite athletes with their sports—think Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, etc.—endlessly interesting. Ichiro Suzuki, indisputably the greatest Japanese import to Major League Baseball of all time, certainly qualifies as one of those obsessive, my-sport-is-who-I-am athletes, as this well-written, insightful article makes clear. A great look into the life of an athlete whose been in our highlight reels for 15 years now, but who we still don't really know.

"The Lost Kids on the Line" by Bronwen Dickey, Popular Mechanics. 21 minutes.

If you've ever spent any time on a college campus or at a summer camp, at some point you've probably seen a kid balanced precariously on a bungee cord tied between two trees, trying to stay balanced as he or she walks across it. "Slacklining," as this article taught me, is a sport invented by mountain climbers, and one of the best tests of concentration (and humility, since it's impossible to do it in a dignified way) out there. And now, courtesy of an energetic group of nonprofit workers, it's a way to bring some much-needed fun to Syrian refugees whose lives haven't had much room for it in the last 7 years. This is a beautiful, heartwarming, life-affirming story; I can't recommend it enough.

ANYWAY ANYTIME ANYWHERE VOL. II by Ken Camp

Back in November, I read the first volume of the official history book of the Texas Baptist Men, which chronicled the origins and early ministry of an organization that grew in size, scope, and faith over its first 30 years. Now, just in time for the 50th anniversary of TBM's formation, author and really excellent father Ken Camp is back with a second volume, picking up where he left off and filling in readers on the last 20 years of TBM's work.

Like in the first volume, Dad (I typed "Camp" initially, but it felt weird and stilted) spends most of the book detailing the responses to different disasters over the last two decades, from wildfires in the Hill Country to floods in the Midwest to earthquakes in Haiti and Japan. Particularly with the bigger disasters, such as Hurricane Katrina or the West fertilizer plant explosion, readers will be interested to see what role TBM played in immediate relief efforts. Statistics are supplemented with anecdotes in a way that keep the narrative flowing and prevents compassion fatigue for the reader.

While most of the book deals with TBM's disaster relief efforts (understandably, since it's what the organization is best known for), Dad spends the early chapters charting the growth and efforts of TBM's other ministries, from the builders of church camps and churches to the Royal Ambassadors and Challengers programs that have changed the lives of so many young believers. The first and last chapters also deal with the internal politics of TBM and how the organization navigated the denominational battles of the 1980s and 1990s. For someone fascinated by Texas Baptist history (I come by it honestly), I found these accounts particularly interesting.

Look, I'm pretty biased, but you should buy this book. All proceeds go to support TBM, and you'll walk away with a better grasp of what arguably the most widely respected Baptist group in the nation has been up to for the last 20 years. I enjoyed reading it and it will sit proudly next to its preceding volume on my bookshelf.

GREAT PRAYERS OF THE OLD TESTAMENT by Walter Brueggemann

My expectations going into a book play a big part in determining how I feel about it, for better or for worse. Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised by a book I expected to be tedious or mediocre. Other times I go in expecting to be wowed, whether because of the book's reputation or its author or some other factor, only to be disappointed by the book itself. Unfortunately, Great Prayers of the Old Testament fell into the latter category.

Walter Brueggemann is, without a doubt, one of the world's foremost scholars on the Old Testament, a gifted expositor, lecturer, and writer. So the premise of this book—12 chapters, each devoted to explaining a different prayer from the Old Testament and showing what it teaches us about God, humanity, and prayer itself—seemed like guaranteed gold. Sadly, I went in expecting an accessible, applicable, prophetic work along the lines of Brueggemann's The Prophetic Imagination. What I got was a surprisingly technical, dry biblical commentary. And while commentaries make for good reference materials, they're not great books to curl up with before your coffee kicks in.

Make no mistake, there's good historical and exegetical background information to be found in Great Prayers of the Old Testament, and Brueggemann draws some general conclusions at the end of each prayer (though never with quite the verve of his more popular works). But this book is best suited for those needing to do next-level research on one of these prayers—for my fellow preachers and teachers out there, it's much closer to the Word Biblical Commentary in approach than to Broadman or Barclay. A nitpick to prove my point: the biblical text of each prayer is not included in the chapter, which drove me crazy, since it meant I had to have my Bible open alongside this book just to understand it...would it have been that difficult to print the verses in each chapter? Any book which requires the employment of another book just to be fathomable is not intended to be enjoyed, but used—and that's how Great Prayers of the Old Testament will serve me in the future, as a tool and not a treat. Recommended, but now you know what you're getting better than I did.

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

After sitting on my shelf intimidating me with its length, reputation, and presumed difficulty for years, March was the month I finally tackled The Brothers Karamazov, widely considered one of the greatest novels of all time. Ostensibly a story about three brothers whose father is murdered (and one of whom is accused of being the murderer), The Brothers Karamazov is ultimately about what it means to live well, tackling issues of morality, love, family, and more. Classics are hard to review, and this one's no exception. So lets look at the positives and the negatives.

On the plus side, this wasn't nearly as hard to read as I was worried it would be. Maybe I was still feeling burned from the nightmare that was Ulysses, but I went in thinking that reading this would be more akin to homework than entertainment, and I was pleasantly surprised. Turns out that unless your name is James Joyce, your writing has to actually be readable before you get "exalted author" status. While the book did drag at times (and what 718 page book doesn't?), for the most part I was compelled by the plot, characters, and ideas of The Brothers Karamazov. Dostoyevsky has a lot of deep thoughts he wants to get across in this book, but his novelistic genius is to preach them through the vehicle of a murder mystery. So even if and when he was going over my head, I was at least being entertained by the story.

On the negative side, this is a Very Important Book, and I'm 100% sure I missed a lot of the philosophical meat that has made it part of the literary canon. Books like this are, in my opinion, best read in the context of a classroom or book club, where you can talk through the themes and ideas after reading. If you're reading it alone, as I did, you're guaranteed to miss a lot of what lies beneath the surface...and it's frustrating to spend a full month reading a book and then feel like you missed something.

Am I glad I read it? Definitely, and not just so I can say that I did and cross it off a list. Did I get everything out of it that I was supposed to? No. I'd love to hear from other folks who have read The Brothers Karamazov: what did you think? How was your reading experience?

A LOWCOUNTRY HEART: REFLECTIONS ON A WRITING LIFE by Pat Conroy

Some authors write in order to make you think, to stretch you intellectually with their fiction. Think Jonathan Franzen, David Foster Wallace and...ugh...James Joyce. Others write purely to entertain you, like Stephen King or John Grisham. Pat Conroy, while capable of both of these feats, sought to do something else: he wanted to make you feel. And in my case, he nearly always succeeded.

I discovered Conroy during my training for a marathon a few years ago, when I started browsing the public library's database of downloadable audio books to listen to on long runs. There I stumbled upon My Reading Life, Conroy's memoir of sorts about the books and authors which have shaped his life. I'd never heard of Conroy, but I love books about books, so I gave it a try and fell in love with his prose about 20 minutes into the first chapter.

Since then, I've bought 4 Conroy books, and fully intend to eventually buy and read his entire bibliography. My Lowcountry Heart is presumably his final entry on that list, released posthumously after his death in 2016. Half of the book collects essays he posted on his blog and Facebook page in the last few years of his life, while the rest is an assortment of speeches he gave, letters he wrote, and tributes to him written by friends and family.

What happens over the course of reading is that you find yourself falling in love with the man and his gift for language. Whether he's talking about literature, lifelong friends, his beloved South Carolina, or anything else, his prose drips with emotion and beauty. He was above all else a storyteller, and every essay reads with the clarity and warmth of a friend sitting next to you in your living room.

If you're unfamiliar with Conroy, I'm not sure I'd start with this book, since he writes about events from his life that you'd like only know about from his other works. But for Conroy fans, this book is a fitting tribute to a man whose writing has made me laugh and cry in equal measure.

ESSENTIAL WARLOCK VOL. 1 by Jim Starlin, Roy Thomas, Chris Claremont, Gerry Conway, Gil Kane, John Buscema, et al.

Sometimes it just takes a character a while to come into his own. Adam Warlock's first appearance came in the pages of Fantastif Four as a cocooned, biologically engineered McGuffin known only as "Him." When he reappeared in Thor #165, he was still going by that less-than-descriptive name, but now at least had a body (though no costume). By the start of his adventures in Strange Tales, where this Essential volume begins, he had been scooped up by the godlike scientist and sometimes villain called the High Evolutionary, who gave him a name, a costume, and a purpose, to protect and cleanse Counter-Earth (a world virtually identical to Earth, albeit without superheroes) of evil. But not until Jim Starlin, Marvel's greatest cosmic storyteller, did Adam Warlock finally become the cosmic savior he is today. And let me tell you, the end result is, in this case, the best result.

As mentioned, this Essential volume actually does not begin with Warlock's debut, probably because it is so far removed from the character he'd become as to be virtually irrelevant. Instead, it picks up with Warlock's first solo stories in the pages of Strange Tales, told by Roy Thomas, Stan Lee's successor on virtually everything in the late 1960s-early 1970s. The story Thomas tells is a heavy-handed (very heavy-handed) Christian allegory, with Warlock serving as the exemplar and savior of Counter-Earth, ultimately dying and rising again so that they might live. The seeds of greatness are planted in these tales, but they are overwhelmed by Thomas's tendency to be way too on the nose with his allegorical writing (e.g. in the issue where Warlock sacrifices himself for Counter-Earth, he cries out in his death throes, "High Evolutionary, why do you forsake me?!")

When the reins were handed over to Jim Starlin, on both writing and art, the impact was immediate. For the majority of his time producing Warlock's issues, both in Strange Tales and the eponymous Warlock title, he was telling one overarching story about Warlock's attempts to alter a future that sees him transformed into the Magus, a dark mirror image of himself, the Antichrist to his Christ. These issues combine elements of hard sci-fi with space opera with mysticism, but never take themselves too seriously, a criticism I have of Thomas's run. For example, in the same issue where Starlin introduces the dark figure of the Magus, he also introduces Warlock's best friend and sidekick, Pip the Troll, a wisecracking, cigar-chomping...well, troll.

Toward the end of Starlin's run and stretching into a couple of crossovers with other Marvel heroes like the Avengers and Spider-Man, the villain shifts from the Magus to Thanos, Starlin's greatest creation. As big a threat as the Magus is, Thanos leaps off the page, and his appearances are the highlight of the book. Who could have known in 1977 that when he and Warlock faced each other again a decade later in The Infinity Gauntlet, it would form the basis of what will soon be one of the biggest movies of all time!

As you may have gathered, this is not really a superhero book, especially during Starlin's run. But, even for someone like me who doesn't typically enjoy the sci-fi genre, it is a compelling cosmic adventure, and well worth the time. The writing is charmingly bombastic (especially during Starlin's run), the art is crisp and detailed (especially during, you guessed it, Starlin's run), and the evolution of the character is fascinating even in its convolution. Glad I picked it up, and now I just may have to start collecting all Jim Starlin's Infinity crossovers to see what happens next to Warlock, Pip, Thanos, and company.

The Humility of Uncertainty (Friday Devotional)

“Jesus went on with his disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi; and on the way he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” And they answered him, “John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.” He asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter answered him, “You are the Messiah.” And he sternly ordered them not to tell anyone about him. Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. He said all this quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.””

- Mark 8:27-33

Some of the most beloved characters in children’s literature are a family of bears (Mama, Papa, Brother, Sister, and Honey) who live in a treehouse in Bear Country, learning life lessons from one another. You likely know this fictional family well, especially if you’re a parent or grandparent. So here’s the question: are they called the Bearenstein Bears (with an ‘e’) or the Bearenstain Bears (with an ‘a’)?

When I stumbled upon that question, I knew the answer without even thinking. I could see it plain as day in my mind’s eye. “With an ‘e’,” I said. Wrong. Feel free to double check, but you’ll find the same thing I did, that the Bearenstain Bears were written and illustrated for over 40 years by Stan and Jan Bearenstain. That ‘e’ I remembered so vividly in the name just isn’t there.

That’s just one example of something called the “Mandela Effect,” a phenomenon in which a false memory is held among a large group of people (it’s named after another false memory that emerged upon the death of Nelson Mandela in 2010. Hundreds of people were surprised by the news, having incorrectly remembered him dying in prison in the 1980s.) What is most striking to me about the Mandela Effect is not the fallibility of our memories, or even the way such false memories are somehow commonly held—what I find amazing is how certain we can be about something that isn’t true. Had you asked me to bet $50 on how “Bearenstain” was spelled, I probably would have taken you up on it; I was that sure I was right. After all, it was something I knew with absolute certainty—but as it turns out, my certainty was no match for the unexpected truth.

In the above passage, Simon Peter learned that lesson all too well. When he said he believed Jesus was the Messiah, he was showing tremendous faith, but only moments later he proved that his faith was limited by misunderstanding. He had a fixed view of how the Messiah ought to behave—primarily as a political revolutionary—and upon hearing Jesus correct that understanding with predictions of betrayal and suffering and death, the security of his certainty was pierced. His faith was not ready to withstand the unexpected.

As Holy Week approaches, we welcome the familiar beats of the story: the hosannas of Palm Sunday, the bread and wine of Maundy Thursday, the long walk to Calvary on Friday, and, of course, the joy of Easter Sunday’s empty tomb. But because of that familiarity, we risk repeating Peter’s mistake: we risk thinking we have God all figured out. In truth, Holy Week was full of surprises. God’s plan for salvation was one nobody but Jesus saw coming. The cheering masses waving palm branches didn’t expect Jesus’s revolution to be spiritual instead of political, the disciples didn’t expect one of their own to betray their Lord, and no one expected Jesus’s story to continue past Friday morning. But again and again throughout that holiest of weeks, God subverted expectations: leading by serving, overpowering by submitting, saving by dying.

So as the church prepares to move into Holy Week, let me encourage you to approach each day, each story, and each moment of worship with humility, ready for God to teach you something new. Whether it’s the first time or the thousandth time you’ve heard these stories, God can use them to bring you closer to Him, if only you will come with an open heart and ears to hear. Approaching Holy Week with a spirit of certainty about God, sure that you know exactly who He is and what His plans are for you, offers the security of predictability. But perhaps an attitude of faith—believing even when you’re not certain—is a more suitable tribute to the risen Lord.

Anger Management (Friday Devotional)

“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire.”

- Matthew 5:21-22

As my son transitions from baby to toddler, tantrums are becoming a more regular part of life in the Camp household. If Lindsey and I take too long to lift him out of his crib when he wakes up, he’ll voice his displeasure. If he sees one of us eating something we haven’t offered him yet, he’ll let us know he doesn’t appreciate it. If he wants to be picked up, he’ll tell us by raising both his arms and his volume. You can’t blame him—until he picks up a few more words, yelling and crying are basically the only ways he can communicate that he’s upset.

I’ve noticed something interesting about his outbursts, whether they’re brief yelps for attention or extended fits: his anger is only at situations, never people. The moment we pick him up, he goes from distraught to affectionate; as soon as we share our food with him, he goes from screaming at us to smiling at us. Up to this point, holding a grudge is foreign to him—he may be mad at what you’re doing, but he’s never mad at you.

In a time when outrage is practically the coin of the realm, Jesus suggests that we might be able to learn something from our little ones. Feeling angry is not a sin—after all, wrath is a characteristic of God, and Jesus was clearly angry when he cleansed the temple of its greedy and unjust money changers. But while anger is not automatically sinful, it is dangerous, because outrage at a circumstance can become hatred of a person before you even realize it’s happened. When your anger compels you to insult your neighbor instead of love him, it has become a stumbling block to your relationship with God.

Anger that is based in self-righteousness instead of justice, that is destructive instead of constructive, has no place in the kingdom of God. Disciples of Christ are called to be agents of redemption, to extend love to enemies and grace to sinners, and you can’t do that if you’re seeing someone as a problem instead of a person. So take a cue from the cross and the little children to whom Jesus said the kingdom of God belongs: never let your anger at someone’s behavior stop you from loving them.

Unimprovable (Friday Devotional)

“Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord your God that I give you.”

- Deuteronomy 4:2

Fifteen years ago, it seemed like every grocery store was installing self-checkout machines, cashier-less stations where you could scan, bag, and pay for your own items without ever needing to speak to another person. When I first saw one, I thought it was not only a cool idea, but a technological marvel, the Next Big Thing in shopping.

Then I tried to use one. It turns out that the failsafe on all of these machines was to alert a manager anytime a self-checker did something incorrectly. If you didn’t put your item in a bag in a timely fashion—ding!—here came the manager. If your barcode accidentally scanned twice and you needed correct the error—ding!—here came the manager. If your credit card didn’t scan on the first try—ding!—here came the manager. On any given day, it seemed like 75% of self-checkout purchases wound up being overseen by a harried store manager. Within a few years, the machines vanished without fanfare, not to reappear for a decade. A modernization designed to save time for customers and employees alike had ended up doing the opposite.

Those ahead-of-their-time self-checkout machines illustrated a point we are often loath to admit: innovation doesn’t always equal improvement. That’s a principle we’d do well to remember when it comes to what we believe about God and how we practice our faith. Because we’ve had the gospel for nearly 2,000 years, there is a natural tendency to get restless with it, to want something new and innovative to replace the ancient words of Jesus and the apostles. Guided by this restlessness, the temptation is to interpret Scripture through the lens of your own agendas instead of making God’s Word the foundation of what you believe.

But since the days of Moses, God has warned us, “Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it.” Cultural values are always shifting, but the wisdom of God’s Word abides, as useful for teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness as when it was first given to the church. From an abundance of grace, God has given us what we need to live for Him, and we don’t have to go searching for something new to replace or supplement it. In a constantly changing world, find your foundation in the one whose power and love are unchanging.

Never Abandoned (Friday Devotional)

“There you will serve other gods made by human hands, objects of wood and stone that neither see, nor hear, nor eat, nor smell. From there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find him if you search after him with all your heart and soul. In your distress, when all these things have happened to you in time to come, you will return to the Lord your God and heed him. Because the Lord your God is a merciful God, he will neither abandon you nor destroy you; he will not forget the covenant with your ancestors that he swore to them.”

- Deuteronomy 4:28-31

Sometimes one mistake is all it takes for you to give up on someone. For example, let’s say your hairdresser’s hand slips when she’s giving you a trim, and you wind up with a bob cut you didn’t ask for. Are you likely to go back to her? Or imagine if you were in a car accident and your insurance company failed to get you a dime, even though the accident wasn’t your fault.  Wouldn’t you go shopping for a new company? In each of these instances, most people would adopt a one-strike-and-you’re-out policy.

But now imagine a different scenario: your best friend forgets to pick you up from the airport, even though he promised he’d be there on time. As irritated as you’d be, you probably wouldn’t call him up to announce that the friendship was over effective immediately. His mistake would have consequences for how you treated each other down the line, it would affect the friendship, but it wouldn’t end it.

The reason, of course—and what separates your friend’s mistake from the other two—is that you have a close personal relationship with your friend. While your relationship with your hairdresser or insurance company is strictly business, your relationship with your friend is built upon shared experiences, common interests, and ultimately love for one another. Mistakes that might sever a contractual agreement or a business arrangement don’t end a friendship—not because the sin as any less severe, but because the relationship is that much stronger.

In Deuteronomy, Moses reminds God’s people of the law which has been given to them and the consequences for breaking it, but he also says something instructive about the character of God—even though God knows His people will repeatedly turn away from Him, He is prepared nevertheless to mercifully welcome them back when they repent; He refuses to abandon His children or forget His covenant. His mercy is not dependent on the severity of sins, but on whether the sinner is in relationship with Him.

Sometimes we cannot help but wonder if God isn’t scoring us according to our sins, tracking our worst offenses and comparing our faithlessness to that of other sinners. Our darkest fear is that we might finally step over some invisible line, that a white lie or a lustful thought might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and causes God to give up on our sanctification. When that fear grips you, remember that God sent Jesus not to condemn you for your sins, but to save you from them—what He wants is not to see you beaten down by fear, but lifted up by grace. No sin is a match for God’s grace, and no sinner too flawed to be saved. For in the end, what matters most is not what you’ve done, but who you’ve loved.