Proofreading (Friday Devotional)

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

 - Psalm 139:23-24

 I still remember the strange feeling of nervousness I had as I handed my dad the paper. I had spent all semester reading and researching for it. I had written and turned in three different rough drafts. I had followed all the directions my teacher had given me and now, finally, had nearly finished the big sophomore research paper. All that was left was to have a friend or family member proofread it.

 For most students, that meant having Mom or Older Brother scan it quickly and say, “Looks good to me.” But I knew I wouldn’t be getting off that easy, because my dad was a professional writer and editor. By having Dad proofread my paper, I was going to learn just how good or bad it really was. He would be able to point out misspellings I didn’t notice, to rearrange sentence structures in ways that sounded better, to tell me both where my writing was succeeding and where it was failing. If I wanted my paper to be rubber-stamped, I could have given it to a friend—by giving it to Dad, I knew some flaws might get exposed, but that I’d also wind up with a better essay at the end.

 The prayer in Psalm 139 is for a similar proofreading, but of the soul—search me, know my heart, test me, know my thoughts; these are the petitions made to the Lord. The psalmist opens himself up to God and allows for the idea that there might be a “wicked way” in him, that as much as he strives for obedience, he may have faltered at some point. He is not only willing to have his faithfulness examined, he requests it, because in doing so he trusts that God will lead him where he needs to go.

 It is easy to keep yourself closed off from accountability, to assume you’re doing the right things and avoid any suggestion that you’re not. Yet one of the marks of a faithful believer is the desire to grow closer to God instead of keeping a comfortable distance from Him. Spiritual intimacy comes when you are willing to be vulnerable, to be corrected, and to be led by the Holy Spirit.  So may your prayer be like the psalmist’s, full of courage and faithfulness, not fearing the watchfulness of God, but welcoming some proofreading from the author and perfecter of your faith.