52 Reasons Why Baseball is Better than Football

Well, there goes another football season. For some of you, that's a source of great sadness...but for others, it's just another sign that baseball season is almost upon us. So with Super Bowl LII in the books, here are 52 reasons why baseball is, in fact, better than football:

I. Ballparks. Outside of Cowboys Stadium and Lambeau Field, what pro football stadiums are worthy of a pilgrimage? Unlike the NFL's cookie-cutter stadium models, every ballpark is unique, right down to the field dimensions.

II. Radio. With apologies to Brad Sham and Babe Laufenberg (who are outstanding), football is tough to follow unless you can see what's happening. Baseball remains the only sport you can listen to in your car and feel like you know exactly what's going on at all times.

III. Minor Leagues. Minor league baseball is one of the great American traditions in entertainment. 20% baseball, 80% P.T. Barnum-style salesmanship, it's cheap family entertainment that does its best to be different every night. Or you can spend hundreds of dollars to watch 20-year olds kill each other for no pay at your alma mater.

IV. Guilt free. One of the main reasons I stopped watching the NFL was the pit in my stomach every time somebody got his "bell rung," code for "suffered a devastating brain injury." When you retire from professional baseball, you'll head into your 40s with bad knees. When you retire from pro football, you'll head into your 30s with severe, irreversible brain damage.

V. Writing. What boxing is to film, baseball is to writing...for whatever reason, it's the sport that brings out the best in authors. With apologies to George Plimpton, football writing simply doesn't compare.

VI. Names. Oil Can Boyd. Old Hoss Radbourn. Babe Ruth. Catfish Hunter. Baseball names (and nicknames) are reliably fantastic. The NFL, on the other hand, had to manufacture a nickname for Peyton Manning in his final season ("the Sheriff," which literally no one called him) for the sake of drama.

VII. Hall of Fame. Baseball's Hall of Fame, located in the quaint village of Cooperstown, New York, is a destination every baseball fan has on his or her bucket list. It's the gold standard of sports halls of fame. The NFL's Hall, in Canton, Ohio, is a place to kill a couple hours if your flight is delayed in Cleveland.

VIII. A game every day. It's a Tuesday night in June and you have the house to yourself. Is there a baseball game on? Yes. Definitely. And there's a 90% chance your team is playing. Football is appointment viewing, but baseball is always there for you.

IX. Time to think and talk. Baseball is often mocked for its slow pace, but there's something to be said for a sport that moves leisurely enough to allow you to socialize while you're watching it. Pastime indeed.

X. You can compare eras. With a straight face, your average baseball fan will compare Giancarlo Stanton to Babe Ruth, because the game's changes haven't been too drastic to make doing so entirely ridiculous. Comparing Tom Brady's passing to Bart Starr's, on the other hand, is an absurd exercise because the NFL is always tinkering with its rules.

XI. Jackie Robinson. 'Nuff said.

XII. Hot Stove. The baseball offseason is so action-packed, full of high-profile free agent signings and trades, that it has a nickname. In the NFL season, GMs basically just keep time until preseason.

XIII. No Patriots (currently). The last true dynasty in baseball ended 15 years ago. Every year there's hope. For now, anyway.

XIV. Walkoffs. Look, any game-ending play is exciting, no matter the sport. The difference between a walkoff homer and a touchdown pass as time expires however, is that you don't spend the moments after a walkoff frantically scanning the field for penalty flags or waiting for a referee to review the play. You just get to enjoy the moment.

XV. Less replay/no penalties. I'm a Luddite when it comes to replay in sports...I want the calls correct, but not at the cost of excitement. Football's need to get every call precisely correct frequently steals from the spontaneous joy of a big play (please see, "It was a catch," the Dez Bryant Story). Unfortunately, baseball appears to be moving in football's direction on this. But for now, it's still letting the players be the stars, not replay.

XVI. Cost. Lindsey and I once paid $6 per ticket to go to an Oakland As baseball game. Good luck getting into most high school football games for that price.

XVII. Physicality isn't everything. I was essentially disqualified from playing high school football by virtue of being short and skinny as a sophomore...in order to have any success, you have to be built a certain way. As for baseball? Two words: Jose Altuve.

XVIII. Girls can play. When a girl signs up for her high school football team (almost always as punter or kicker), it's national news. When a girl puts on a baseball glove, we call it softball, one of the nations's most popular sports.

XIX. First Take rarely discusses baseball. ESPN's First Take is a plague upon our nation. And they spend 75% of their time talking about football. Point for baseball.

XX. Trade deadline. Big names actually get traded in baseball, adding some annual midseason drama. Big names getting traded in the NFL is nearly unthinkable.

XXI. Managers wear uniforms. Whether the manager is 40 or 80, he wears the same baseball uniform as his players. It's one of the goofiest traditions in sports, and I approve.

XXII. Take Me Out To the Ballgame. Baseball has its own song, sung during the 7th inning stretch of every game. The NFL has....the FOX NFL theme, I guess?

XXIII. No clock. Baseball goes until its over; it isn't ruled by the clock. There's something admirably stubborn about that.

XXIV. Global game. Baseball is played all over the world, by everyone from Cubans to Dominicans to the Japanese. American footballs' global reach is a couple of games in London every year.

XXV. Presidential traditions. Let's compare. Baseball's presidential tradition is for POTUS to throw out the first pitch of the baseball season, with results that range from inspiring to hilarious. Footballs' presidential tradition is an interview during the Super Bowl. I rest my case.

XXVI. Stays in sports pages. Admittedly, I couldn't have written this one 15 years ago, when ballplayers were testifying about steroid use before Congress. But in 2018, the NFL found itself in the news for non-sports things a lot more often than they were comfortable with, to the exhaustion of the nation. Not a problem with baseball these days.

XXVII. Roger Goodell. Arguably the most unpopular man in sports runs the NFL. MLB's commissioner, on the other hand, I doubt you can name. Which is how it should be.

XXVIII. Free market. The NFL is a multi-billion dollar business that can somehow cut its employees at a moment's notice. Baseball, on the other hand, pays its players (who are, after all, its product) handsomely. It may be weird to watch somebody make millions of dollars playing a children's game...but surely it's weirder to watch 10-year NFL veterans starting new careers at 45 when they were responsible for millions of dollars in revenue.

XXIX. All-Star Game. The MLB All-Star game isn't perfect, but it's probaby the best of the three major sports. And it certainly beats the Pro Bowl, the NFL's biggest embarrassment not named Roger Goodell.

XXX. Food. As a general rule, ballpark food beats stadium food. Simple as that.

XXXI. Spring training. Baseball spring training is held in America's retirement states, Florida and Arizona, and is an annual vacation for many fans. Training camp is basically just a few weeks of practice...attended by hardcore fans, but enjoyed only because it means the season is near.

XXXII. Promotions. With 81 home games per year, baseball teams will do what it takes to get fans in the door, even if that means giving away dollar hot dogs, free T-shirts, or baseball bats. With 8 home games a year, NFL teams just take your money and run.

XXXIII. Takes fewer players. All you need to simulate a baseball game is two people, a pitcher and a hitter. You need at least 4 for backyard football. And if we're going by the rulebook, baseball still wins, 9 per team to 11.

XXXIV. Road trip-able. You could conceivably see 4 different ballparks and 8 different teams in a 4 day stretch if you timed it right. To see 4 different NFL games, you'd have to take off a month of work.

XXXV. Smaller markets. Baseball still succeeds in smaller markets whose NFL teams are perennial losers (Cleveland, Cincinnati, Kansas City, etc.)

XXXVI. Series vs. Big Game. The Super Bowl is one night (preceded by 2 weeks of hype.) The World Series is a best-of-7 series. When the stakes are highest, I'll take 7 games over 1.

XXXVII. Baseball caps. They're a staple of American clothing, and you wouldn't have them without baseball. By contrast, nobody wears football helmets to the mall.

XXXVIII. History. Baseball cherishes and prizes its history, almost to fault. The NFL, so focused on the next game, rarely seems like they care about the game's past. Ask its retired players.

XXXIX. More Open Air Stadiums. Baseball, generally, is played outdoors. Football, generally, is played indoors. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my sports played outside.

XL. Distinction between leagues. The division between NFC and AFC is completely arbitrary, decided by tradition and convenience. The American League and National League, on the other hand, literally play by different rules. A cool quirk that sets baseball apart.

XLI. Keeping score. One of my hobbies is keeping a scorecard when I go to a baseball game. Football has no equivalent activity.

XLII. Family friendly. NFL games are notoriously adult atmospheres, especially for certain teams (looking at you, Oakland.) You can take your kids to the ballpark.

XLIII. Walk-up music. A fairly new tradition, every batter has his own theme song that is played when he steps up the plate. NFL stadiums are so constantly raucous they couldn't pull something like that off.

XLIV. Baseball movies. Bull Durham. Field of Dreams. Pride of the Yankees. A League of Their Own. I could keep going...there are some good football movies out there, but baseball's got a longer (and arguably better) list.

XLV. Kids can play. My son won't play football (Lindsey and I have already had that talk. We like his brain too much.) Not a concern with baseball.

XLVI. Rules and strategies are simpler. I still have to fake my way through in-depth conversations about football sometimes...there's just too much to learn. Baseball has fewer terms, a much smaller playbook, and still manages to be endlessly fascinating.

XLVII. More diversity. Your average baseball clubhouse speaks at least 3 languages. That's pretty cool, and not true of the NFL.

XLVIII. Less commercial. Don't get me wrong, all professional sports are ridiculously over-marketed. But nobody tops the NFL in that department.

XLIX. MLB Network vs. NFL Network. I've watched both. It's pretty clear which has better programming (and which gets better games.)

L. Fantasy sports. Fantasy baseball takes skill...I know, because when I don't try, I get last place. Fantasy football takes luck...I know, because when I don't try, I get second place. Plus, fantasy baseball the progenitor of all fantasy sports, so bonus points there.

LI. Equipment. Admittedly, neither sport can match basketball or soccer for ease of access. But I guarantee you you'll run up a bigger bill at Academy getting ready for football season than getting ready for baseball season.

LII. No Roman numerals. Baseball isn't so self-important as to number its World Series like Caesar's still on the throne. Good grief, NFL, it's 2018, not MMXVIII.

So there's my indisputable list of just 52 of the reasons America's pastime is superior to America's favorite sport. And just to prove it was all in good fun, here's George Carlin's take on baseball vs. football:

Spring training is just around the corner! Can't wait!