Anger Management (Friday Devotional)

“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire.”

- Matthew 5:21-22

As my son transitions from baby to toddler, tantrums are becoming a more regular part of life in the Camp household. If Lindsey and I take too long to lift him out of his crib when he wakes up, he’ll voice his displeasure. If he sees one of us eating something we haven’t offered him yet, he’ll let us know he doesn’t appreciate it. If he wants to be picked up, he’ll tell us by raising both his arms and his volume. You can’t blame him—until he picks up a few more words, yelling and crying are basically the only ways he can communicate that he’s upset.

I’ve noticed something interesting about his outbursts, whether they’re brief yelps for attention or extended fits: his anger is only at situations, never people. The moment we pick him up, he goes from distraught to affectionate; as soon as we share our food with him, he goes from screaming at us to smiling at us. Up to this point, holding a grudge is foreign to him—he may be mad at what you’re doing, but he’s never mad at you.

In a time when outrage is practically the coin of the realm, Jesus suggests that we might be able to learn something from our little ones. Feeling angry is not a sin—after all, wrath is a characteristic of God, and Jesus was clearly angry when he cleansed the temple of its greedy and unjust money changers. But while anger is not automatically sinful, it is dangerous, because outrage at a circumstance can become hatred of a person before you even realize it’s happened. When your anger compels you to insult your neighbor instead of love him, it has become a stumbling block to your relationship with God.

Anger that is based in self-righteousness instead of justice, that is destructive instead of constructive, has no place in the kingdom of God. Disciples of Christ are called to be agents of redemption, to extend love to enemies and grace to sinners, and you can’t do that if you’re seeing someone as a problem instead of a person. So take a cue from the cross and the little children to whom Jesus said the kingdom of God belongs: never let your anger at someone’s behavior stop you from loving them.